I’ve moved – New Address!


The Nasty Wench, Tales from the Asylum has officially moved to its very own website.  If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, all the posts have been moved over the the new site along with new material.  Please check out the new site:


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what are you waiting for..head on over

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Hillbilly Handfishin’


Oh, for fk sake… seriously?!?

( full disclosure – this post is from my archives, an oldie but a goodie)

I kid you not.  I have had a terrible couple of weeks, just got back from my electrolysis appointment (waging battle against morphing into a post-menopausal circus freak, fyi – laser doesn’t work on blonde hair, permanent facial hair removal requires jamming an electrical probe into each follicle individually and frying the crap out of it, repeatedly…because once is not enough, and paying for the privilege…but I digress).

I toss myself onto the couch and catch a glimpse of two things – neither of which makes any sense and zero ability to reconcile the two.  On tv, some redneck male is wrestling with a huge catfish in a muddy bog of some sort, cut to a Continue reading

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My Life as…a what?


One of these things is not like the others, one of these things isn’t the same (now try getting that Sesame Street song out of your head…you’re welcome!)

doll 2.jpg

My Life as…dolls that come in a variety of styles, occupations.  Hhhmmm, okay, so what have we got.  A collection of 11 dolls representing various lifestyles and occupations.  I’ll give them some credit – of 11 dolls, one is male, so there’s that.  Three are different ethnicities, well played.  The occupations are a little sexist – hairdresser, baker, figure skater, ballerina, pop star…meh, there is one that appears to be academic and another is a cowgirl, so okay. 

This is where they lost me:

Cowgirl…can be a lifestyle or occupation, check.  Hairstylist, check.  I found myself wondering what lifestyle or occupation would be represented by the pj’s…Sleepover Host.  When the fk did sleepover host become either a lifestyle or an occupation?  What would you like to be when you grow up…oh, a sleep over host…you can quit school now, requires no education whatsoever, seriously…that’s a skill you can master after a week of grade 1, just long enough to meet a few friends to invite over.  My Life as…a sleepover host – I don’t think it pays well, or at all…but you get to wear your jammies all the time.  Wait a minute, a lifestyle that lets me live in my jammies…I withdraw my objection…c’mon over for pillow fights, makeovers and a round or two of truth or dare.

∼ the nasty wench ∼

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Ripped From the Headlines…Part 2


Teen Shoots Dad With Arrow Over Cell Phone

Once again …that’s the headline.  A 35 yr old man in rural Washington was airlifted to hospital after his 15 yr old daughter shot him in the head with a hunting bow and arrow…because he took her cell phone away.  The kicker – Continue reading

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Plenty of WTF


I took a stab at online dating – it was not pretty.  My options for meeting someone are fairly limited – I work for a really small company (no interesting candidates there) and I volunteer with an agency that is 98% women, unless I’m considering making a major lifestyle change…I don’t do the bar scene or casinos…come to think of it, this is beginning to sound a little pathetic. 

So, I took the plunge into online dating, what’s the worst that can happen?  I’m sure most of the online sites are the same so I won’t point any fingers…but there may have been some “fishing” involved.

1st nibble:  Message from a guy who is looking for a fun, fit, classy lady.  Has he actually read my profile?  I tried to discourage him politely, I’m new at this.  I responded: “Thanks for your interest but, having read your profile, Continue reading

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Ode To a Wal Mart Greeter


All due respect to Wal Mart Greeters around the world but if you ever walk into a Wal Mart and I’m there greeting you, take me out to the parking lot and back over me.  Assume that I’m being held hostage and made to sing that freaking Wal Mart rah rah cheer song in the morning.  I thought that was a rumor when I first heard about it but I got into a Wal Mart early one morning and they actually make their staff sing that asinine song.  I cannot believe that it does not breach some human rights legislation. 

Greeters don’t actually greet customers any more…it’s their entire job description –  it’s right in the title, it’s their only task – greet the customers.  They might notice you, they might glance in your direction but rarely do they actually acknowledge you.  If you are bringing in an item for return, they are apparently obliged to tag the bag and

Continue reading

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Fresh Wenchery to be posted tomorrow, in the meantime I have discovered that the Kung Fu countermove to Cockwaffle is…drum roll please…Twat-Waffle, I really should have seen that coming



∼ the nasty wench ∼

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